Still somethings are left unanswered....

All I do is think about YOU... as if YOU are really there as everybody say... 
I speak to YOU every day, when I am successful, when I fail, when I am confused, when I need solutions, when I need clarifications, when I think I am wrong... 
then my thoughts fly by to the fact of YOUR existence.. what YOU do, how YOU execute.. YOUR framework, YOUR protocols...
what about all YOUR creation - if YOU really exist - why so much suffering...
I am clueless... every condition, every scenario - some prove YOU exist and some don't, putting me again in a loop of confusion... 

I don't know if we all belong to YOU or if we are just the lump of chemicals?? or was it just that a set of chemicals combined to aid the evolution of us....
If yes, then I feel there is no justice done, there should be someone to clean out - wipe out the bad - yes nature takes the responsibility doing it - but then who controls nature?
Can I call Nature as YOU? 
The question keeps coming back and forth, while I am lying on my bed, deeply gaze at the ceiling - until I go hell crazy with loads of questions running over my mind, none answered...
though I try to answer it myself with the amount of knowledge.. at the end, I am not satisfied, I still feel it does not have any answer... Is it YOU that we belong to? Or are we just the chemical combination just like any other...

I fall asleep - with this avalanche breakdown... but still my questions remain unanswered...

It's not the end of the World!!!

I was standing there in a very very vast open space I could see the sky spanning so wide... the coconut trees were standing tall and still... it was a very old Hindu temple...it had white stone flooring and pillars..,each Gods and Goddesses had their own Gopuras(Tower - a place where Deity's idol is placed, prayed and worshipped) and I was standing very close to Lord Ganesha's gopura, it seems like I was waiting for somebody.. then within no time, my grandfather came and few other men following him holding a mummy's coffin... they all assembled at the centre of the temple, and they kept speaking something.. it was really not very clear, but I got to know that there was a big catastrophe to occur in few mins, and that's the reason everybody are here... I immediately started chanting God's name and thought that we all will be fine as we were in a temple's premises and nothing can beat God... 

I was still standing there...With in no time, I heard a roaring sound, I could not find out from were this sound was coming from, the roaring repeated...I looked up...OMG! It was terrific, I was scared to hell!!! I saw sky uncurling itself layer after layer .. as if there were several layers of cloud and sky opening up to show us something which was waiting for us!... I felt a disastrous thing is gonna happen... I screamed at my grandpa and started running , I knew there was a old stone gong at this temple - yes a stone gong, it was known that this gong was very auspicious and would definitely save our lives.. Don't ask me how...:( I don't know either...no sooner I went and stood beside it.. the sky started showering huge rocky boulders, as if a machine gun spitting out all the bullets... I was standing there with a 50% belief that I would not be hurt ...the boulders came on one after the other randomly hitting anybody... One came directly and hit the gong just an inch away from me shattering the gong into million pieces... I started loosing hope, people began running for their lives, it was a complete chaos and mess.. I started running too...

 I lost the belief that I would be saved...for once I ran outside the temple.. and the boulder rains stopped, with in a split second.. sky rained fire!!! yes high voltage spark showers began churning up everything, people, trees .. what not? .. I knew I would never be saved...for any moment I would have been gobbled up...I was still trying to escape from the fire rain... suddenly this thought a raised in me... "why am I running?, what is the point??... I am anyway going to die...if I have to"... I slowed down a bit...I was still alive, could see the play of fire destroying everything... another thought acquired me, "I haven't done any grave mistake.. I have been true to myself... and to my conscience, why should I run, if I have to die, let me..., let me face it", by then I had completely stopped running... I was standing still as If waiting for my turn... but no not even a single spark fell on me... it went on churning up the entire world.. but I was not hurt nor burnt!!! I don't know how... I was not excited but kept waiting - for once I wanted to face it! nothing really happened...I was there standing still...


As I heard everybody taking about 21-12-2012 - the world's gonna end... 
I suddenly remembered this deadly dream I had a few months ago in the beginning of 2012... It was truly an enchanting thriller, with genuine moments of tension... I know the dream was more thrilling than the above "dream to text" converted version.. wish I could have shared the whole dream as a video ;)
btw I had not watched any movie nor any scenes nor had thought any close to "21-12-12" - on the day I had this dream... Brain is the most fascinating thing!... when I got up and analysed it, I thought those boulders could have been meteorites.. or asteroids... but I wonder why it did not occur to me in the dream...

Anyway, I believe 21-12-12 is just the end of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, not the End of the world! :)
so sit back and enjoy the jolly ride!

One interesting day...

It was summer, and that one night I never got a peaceful sleep.. I was scared - not to death though, but was worried as what would happen... slowly recalled the event which snatched my sleep...
for this one time my sixth sense and my gut feeling tricked me, I was never let down like this ever before...

It was in the late evening the last period of the day, "History and Civics" class handled by Mr.S...
it was close of play and it was the attendance time, before I tell you more, let me bring some light on how high school teachers try to retain students in the class in the name of attendance, they take this attendance only at the end of the class, so that the one who bunks the class "in between" actually looses attendance..yes you heard it right.. there were a few who used to jump away from the class when the prof turns to the black board to chalk out something...

So this was one such class, where it was about 4:45 - 4:50 in the evening... and our prof started taking the attendance after the class, though technically the class would end at 5...
I did answer my attendance... and there were another 20-25 names left for him to complete... I was sure I would get late to the Math Mock test... for the reason I had to take the BMTC bus from Southend circle, Bangalore to J.P.Nagar - 2nd phase, Bangalore ( my home then).. the buses at the peak hours are horrible and the most horrid thing is the buses would not stop if its over crowded...

All this was running over my mind, from the time our prof started the attendance....me being seated in the 3rd bench and the prof seated on the 6th bench and facing the backwards ( facing opposite to the black board) ... and this ideal situation triggered me the plan of escaping out of the class and reach home early to make it to the mock test... my gut feeling was strong and I thought this was easily possible. 

I had packed my bag and was waiting for the right time to execute my plan... as my name was called, I answered my attendance, within another 3-4 names being called for, I held my bag tight, without a second thought in a split second I just escaped out of the class... made my way through the sound proof auditorium which was adjacent to our classroom - which lead to the exit of the school building...

Was really happy that everything went well as planned... I did reach home on time and did pretty well in the mock test.. but later there was a small doubt, as what could have happened after I left the classroom... in no time I reached home, my mom said I had got a call from one of my classmate... a little worried me without thinking much decided to call her to know what it was, and that was the most threatening thing I ever heard... this was what happened, after I swooshed away from the classroom, the prof got to know as he turned to see me running out of the classroom.. and he came running outside and yelled at me to come back.. but because of the sound proof auditorium's doors and walls, I could not even hear a bit... and then he lost his temper and decided to mark me absent for 10 consecutive days for all his classes...and this would actually cause me problem to take up the board exams... but the trouble was he did not know my name and hence my roll number... to solve this problem of his, he threatened the girls in the classroom to disclose my name else he would some how get to know my name and also the girl's names who are after and before me in the attendance register and mark them absent too for 10 days... It seems there was a pin drop silence after he said this...

After a while a girl who was scared of his act decided to disclose my name and safe guard herself... and she did it.. and I was marked absent for 10 days...

This whole episode never let me have my dinner peacefully nor concentrate on my fav cartoon show, "The Popeye Show" and while I slept restlessly...finally a thought occurred to me, an action step for the next day to bed down the dust...
Satisfied with the solution, did manage to get some good sleep...

The next day morning I wanted to reach school early and I did reach there 30 min before the prayer... no sooner I entered my classroom everybody started making sounds at me, I knew the reason, so never got excited, I wanted to keep low, so placed my bag.. quickly made my way to this prof's staff room... and luckily he was in, looking at some papers probably reading a news paper or something... I went and narrated him that I was the one who did such an act the previous day and the reason behind it... I apologized to him saying that I should not have done it but it was not for some lame reason anyway ,finally convinced him to give back my attendance and so the problem was solved...

And guess what the girl who disclosed my name was really scared to face me... and she never had a face to talk to me, and the whole class got to know about this and started calling me "Lady Don" - what?? yes :) can't help... and many other names followed it after my various such daring acts at school.... 

This was one such  day ... an interesting day at school.... :)which I'd love to cherish forever!

Thames Pathway

"All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking..."
- Friedrich Nietzsche 

Yes it definitely is, for some reason from my childhood I always loved walking... I think it was my grandpa who inculcated that habit in me
I have learnt so many things discussed so many things while I have walked a million miles with my grandpa...

And now that even DH loves walking, its kind of an added advantage for me to walk to wherever and whenever possible... Talk every possible thing under the sky... discuss, argue, debate and eventually fight... and return home with a zipped mouth.

Of all the places and the routes, we both love to walk along the "Thames path" in London, near the Tower bridge, walk along the River Thames running on one of our sides... This path covers almost 50-60% of our office route.. so we walk along this path in the mornings provided we really do a marathon in getting ready ;) and also when we really need a break and a relaxing evening...see the lights and their reflection on the Thames, the majestic Tower Bridge, the people, the crowded pubs... all together to experience a painfully beautiful winter (of course during winter)

Early morning walk is the best one, we reach this pathway in no time...about 15min from my place, the path which leads to this Thames path itself is so very enchanting, the houses around are so beautiful, each and every house has a lovely garden with beautiful and colourful flowers... and on to the other side there is this sparkling River running...calmly and silently...from where you could see the gigantic Tower Bridge and couple of other huge, tall buildings, and there is a path way where most of the bollywood movies are shot, the pathway looks very antique and is basically a stone pavement, which gives the glam and is surrounded by the old British to modern high class pubs...and a few steps more and there it is the class in itself.. artistic the mighty Tower Bridge... I just cant get enough of it, the very sight Tower Bridge on River Thames... I can just keep staring at it.. lost somewhere...its a pleasant feeling to be there...

I see the commercial window cleaners cleaning the tall building's window panes,I have always wondered, what a technology - they invest on a big architecture buildings and then they invent machines and create jobs to clean them... well there is nothing wrong... there is no end to man's invention and thinking! 

Passing through different kinds of people some in black suits, some jogging and some ladies in the pencil tip heels walking merrily ... further as I walk along I see this huge ship, I always used to wonder about it, what it does standing there... on the Thames attracting so many people, until I got to know that it was Britain's naval heritage ( which is associated with world wars)

As I move along to reach the London Bridge, I smell the hot air coming out of a cellar, then I realize its the fitness first - for which I have been subscribed for a year but hardly use it :( having the guilt I walk past to see on my right people walking on the London Bridge - they all look like black ants walking one behind the other busily making their way out... and also the St Paul's tomb... as I climb the stairs to actually connect to London Bridge, that ends my walk on the Thames path... and then I get out of the lovely morning walking mood, hurriedly walk - almost jog ;) to make it to work on time!

Life! must go on...

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet. 





Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?

What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?

A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,

Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.

And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet

Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,

But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,

Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.

I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.

And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.

It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.

There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,

And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells

I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.

And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.

And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.

Not a cranky old man .

Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

Courtesy: Facebook 

Floral Evening!

Lion King Musical!

It was Nuthan's idea to go to this show, and I was the one so reluctant , coz I was so sure of it either would be too kiddish or a flop...or I would fail to relate the musical to the actual Lion King story...
It all happened because Lion King musical is so popular here...posters and ads at many places in London for example: most of the London Underground stations have their posters, and also many other busy areas...
This made Nuthan curious and urged him to book the tickets finally for a show on saturday, which came as a surprise to me on a friday evening!

I really never had any expectation, in fact was prepared for a boring rigid show... but was happy to go out for to do something new and experience the Lyceum Theatre - where Lion King musical show was on.
Apparently this show has been there since 1990 and is still on... :) We took a direct bus from the place where we stay, reached there at the Lyceum Theatre on time, Nuthan quickly collected the tickets from the box office and we were directed to our seats.

It was just too many stairs we climbed and climbed for about 4 floors and finally reached the entrance of the auditorium.
As we walked in we could see a refreshment bar, where everybody were scattered and chit chatting, they were all eager to get in for the show, so were we... finally got inside the auditorium!
I say, it was an amazing victorian style, rustic looking auditorium - probably a true auditorium, it was really a class..the interiors was really so well planned, and the spacing and the elevation between two rows were so appropriate and perfect, that all 2100 people could see the show without being interrupted by anybody's head coming in their way! The theatre in itself was marvellous...

The show was about to begin, everybody was in their seats busy operating their flashy shutters... n we saw that there was no seat left empty!
this kinda gave an impression to me that the show would definitely be a good one... Finally the lights of the auditorium went down as the stage curtains rolled up, layer by layer...

I just did not realize how 2.30 hours just went...puppetry was simply great and the sets looked so very original.
There was African Tribal singing in between which did not have the lyrics which I understood, but the tune and the emotions did depict the scene, it was stupendous!
story was engrossing, costumes were brilliant, every body on the stage probably had the Lion King in their blood, they were too good!
I was literally taken away from the city of London to a jungle for this 2.30 hours... :)

I thoroughly enjoyed my saturday evening...One of the amazing shows I have ever seen! Thanks to my DH :)

Thaye Yashoda and Muddu Krishna!

An Inspiration from...

Sony Ericsson - Xperia Mini @ London Bridge

Random...

Dabba Walaaa...

It was a bright afternoon, I decided to step out to any of the eateries to buy something for the lunch...
I was already fixed to buy a soup, stepped into a Eatery outlet called, "Pret", while Paying I was on call wid mom and Accidentally had punched in the wrong pin for my debit card.. :(

I punched the wrong pin thrice and while I tried the forth time, my card got locked :( and what an embarrassment it was, I had to cancel my take away... and tell the guy that I would return back after drawing some cash...
had no cash left in my purse and this was the only card I had, with no other option I had to return to the office and Called my Hubby dear and informed him about the entire thing, he wanted to come to my office and take me out for lunch, but I did not have much time so denied him saying that I would have some cereals (which I always have in my cupboard) and some Broccoli left at my desk...
He reluctantly agreed...

I came back, started to have broccoli's until I got a call from my Hubby, he said he was downstairs in front of my office with the Lunch....
I was surprised and merrily happy... ran downstairs, to see that he had brought a big lunchbox for me, a wholesome lentil soup, a yogurt and cherry dessert and a detox Ginseng Drink :) from "Pret" ( where I was embarrassed earlier)

I was initially not wanting all of them coz I was on a strict diet with a calculated amount of calorie intake...But then my hubby persuaded me to have the whole for the lunch, and said "Dear I have got the Lunch Box for you!, and this this does not happen everyday, do enjoy!".

Really felt so very happy and thrilled about the whole thing...
He handed over me the lunch and walked back to his office, I came back and started relishing stuffs one after the other...and just loved the Lunch for the day offer :P :P

It was truly a dabba walaa's treat :)

Thank u Hubby dear :)

Green Love!

"Oh dear, just cant stop looking at you... it was my mistake of letting you starved... :(
I just cant see you die and whither away... Please wake up, show me ur bright smile u shower on me as u do every single day!
Hope to see u alrite by the evening...love you so much!"

My emotions had no bounds and was almost about to shed a tear, when I saw my Fittonia (a show plant) at my desk...
Accidentally I had forgotten to water her for two continuous days... n she never complained nor yelled at me, for treating her so badly...
But I must confess it was all my fault... of letting her starve... :(

Fed her some water, did this for every half an hour for the first of the day until I saw some of her leaves blooming back to normal, did this until every single leaf was alrite and looked happy enough!

Each time I watered, prayed God for her betterment and to forgive me...was restless until I saw her alrite, guess what she was showing the signs of improvement and was perfectly fine by the evening :)

Though they are plants, who cant respond as humans or animals, do they sense love and they do have emotions, this was told by mom wen I was a kid.
Must say my mom treats her plants like kids and she is never tired of having more than 100 and change kids ;) though she does not have a formal garden, she grows them in pots, she has 3 trees, 2 neem and 1 almond and she loves them, she grows tomatoes, coriander, mint, chillies, curry leaves, banana and many more in her well maintained pots, she spends almost 2-3 hrs a day looking after them, watering them, cleaning out the weeds if any, fertilizing them every 3 months.. she never thinks that as one of her house hold chores, she once had said that they were too like us ( me n my brother ;)

And probably this feeling and the love for plants had a strong influence on me and this I discovered only when I started to live with my husband...
A new home, new things, everything was set but still I was not satisfied and sense of incompleteness haunted me... until a New plant "Anthrium" was brought home...
From then on there were at least 2 or 3 plants at home until they withered away due to bad weather conditions ( England's weather )
At the moment I have 2 succulent plants, one Anthrium, one African Marigold and sweet Basil and the happiness is immensely infinite... while I water them, see them grow and see them glare in green and white under the bright sun :)

Wish to have a huge garden of my own and grow as many plants I like ! Or may be a Kitchen garden :) hope this dream of mine comes true...

This is my Love affair with the Green ;)

Small Things With Great Deal of Happiness!

I was on my way back home, it was summer, the sun was bright for the fact that the days are longer in the west during summers… It so happened that I was tempted to have an ice-cream.

I am the one who would not buy or eat anything alone, not that I am scared, its simply coz I don't have a company and I always want someone to accompany me when I am eating…

But this very day, I somehow could overcome that and very soon spotted an interesting Gelatine ice-cream parlour, the shop displayed variety of ice-cream flavours, rich they looked, I was sure it would definitely taste heavens… in no time I was at the stall, and was already looking out to choose the flavours, my mind was wandering between to either go for a single or a double scoop or greedily wanting three! I then thought three would be horrendously too much ;) and settled in for two, the lady smiled gently and handed over my double delight cone… quickly managed to rush through my handbag to find the debit card, made the payment and was all eager and ready to smudge the ultimate flavours on to my tongue…

To enjoy the divineness (Sun + Ice-cream) , my mind started searching for a bench, So walked across the street, as I figured out a bench laid out in front of a park..with few trees behind it, which just let few rays of sun to surpass, which was giving the dusky finish to the scene… By then I had already started enjoying the lovely Gelatine…

Slowly as I started realising the flavours, my mind started wandering thinking of people passing by, my home, my parents, and as I went on and on, slowly unwrapping the memory box, basically my mind wanted all sweet things, all good moments, all happiness…. every scene showed up for a moment n vanished before another barged in which seemed more funnier n merrier than the previous…

There was this thing which I remembered, when we were given 1 Rupee or 2, to buy a kulfi or an ice-candy, there was a gush of happiness within me then!

It was a great deal of thing to get some quids from parents or grandparents to buy a kulfi or a candy… coz that would happen only after 5-10 min of pleading… (I don't know why they were so hesitant to shell out some coins not that they did not have enough money but probably simply they did not want to or may be they thought it was not hygienic : )

But still the amount of fun,the joy, happiness, contentment we had in slurping the ice-cream along with cousins under the sun in the summer during summer holidays was enormous!

Realised, that no heavy priced Gelatine can ever be compared nor its as fun as a kulfi or an ice-candy when we were kids….

Sun was down under his hood… with very little to shine, by the time I was all done with my so called ecstasy :), got up and walked my way down the street back home, with many of my childhood memories still running over my mind!

My childhood was definitely a Sunshine :)

Ghost Protocol

This happened when I was roughly 25 -26 yrs, it was on one of those nights in the rainy season, streets were wet, rains had stopped, it was  almost 11 'o'clock by the time I left the office, where I was working at, along with me was my brother in law, who also was my co-worker at the same company, I was staying with my sister and brother in law for a couple of days before I got married. 

We both had our own bi-cycles and we started to hit back home, by about 11:00 pm, through the deserted wet roads of chamarajapete ( area in Bangalore) and apparently we had to go via a graveyard which was on one side of the main road, the graveyard was really not a matter of worry or anything, but for my sister it was!… she would always warn us to reach home well by 6:00 in the evening or to follow another route to surpass the graveyard!

But sometimes we would ignore her, though it was late we would follow the same route via the graveyard as it was the only short cut we had...

So this night we thought, we'd better take the short cut and reach home as soon as possible. We started on our bicycles whistling loudly some old tunes n merrily cycling on the deserted roads, my brother in law started first and he was ahead of me, he was hardly 50 - 100 meters ahead of me, but suddenly he was pulled down as he skid down and was dragged horribly along his cycle for about few meters until the speed of the cycle came down, I was shocked as there were no humps no sand gravel nor anything, there was no water standing either, because of the rains in the evening it was just that the streets were wet, before I realised this, I too had this dreaded experience, I too lost my balance off the cycle, fell down, was dragged nastily, for a moment I felt I am going to be unconscious, but later after a few seconds the cycle speed reduced and I could manage myself and got up to see couple of bruises over my palms and elbows. I was really shocked to see my brother in law trembling with fear, he too had some bruises over his hands and knees… 

Never  something like this had happened to either of us, we were following this route like almost every day for about 2-3 years… I asked him, if he was alright, he was panting for breath and said, "Look we better go home soon, don't you see that we fell just in front of that graveyard, there is definitely something wrong… we should hurry". I was a little petrified and could not believe my ears that we met with this accident just in front of that scary graveyard, I really did not want to judge anything there, before anything more would happen, both of us wanted to reach home as soon as possible, without looking back we just drove as fast as we could, without a whistle…with just front lights glowing…

No sooner we reached home, my sister noticed our anxiety and fear and she could sense something wrong had happened to us and she did guess that it was coz, we followed the graveyard route and she started crying that something bad is awaiting for us, and she even started blabbering that the ghosts do roam around at nights and they play pranks on people in dark… on hearing all this both of us were more scared and we both were told to take bath and before she served us the dinner, we were made to offer prayers to the God and apply sacred ash on the forehead and I did see my sister still sobbing…

Without a word, we did what she said, had our dinner and went to bed, within no time it was dawn and I probably woke up on hearing my sister whining as if there was a catastrophe, I went near her to see wat it was, to my dismay I saw my brother in law on the bed shivering, and learnt that he had a sky high temperature, we called in for a doctor and the doctor after diagnosing him, prescribed some medicines and assured us he would be alright in a day or two.

I was speechless, was still thinking and my mind always tried to link this up to the incident/accident which happened the previous night…

I was a little apprehensive to go to office, was warned by my sister to take a different route and I was supposed to completely avoid the shortcut… I was not wanting to settle to what she said, still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I finally dressed up and started to cycle down, to office, and followed my sister's instructions avoiding the graveyard route… while I was on this other route, so many questions kept rattling all  over my mind, I would be accepting that there was something which I never believed would exist.. Or live with a fear for my entire life, a mysterious fear...


I just could not handle this confusion any more…. Slowed down my cycle, took a U - turn, headed back to office via the graveyard route, for once I wanted to beat it, I wanted to know what was wrong, I was not sure If I would fall again, or probably nothing could happen at all…it was sunny and the streets were dry and I finally  reached the graveyard, almost a couple of meters away from the spot where we both fell, I could see that there was a big dark patch on the street, at the same spot where we had an accident...


I went closer, luckily I did not fall nor lost my balance, as I went closer I could see the patch was due to spilt oil, and a tin was lying by the side of the footpath, then I realised that, the last nights drama was all because of this spilt oil exactly in front of the graveyard, which we could not make out as the streets were wet coz of the rains, the reason for my brother in law's fever and my sisters anxiety and of course my confusion too!

Smiled to myself :) I was so much relieved, felt light at heart, that the mystery was solved and the fear no longer existed, happily made my way to office, that evening I reached home well before dark and narrated the whole thing what I saw in the morning to my sister and brother in law, both did not seem to get it, after a while my sister bursted out into laughter and my brother in law had a smile on his face and a sign of relief from the burden(fear) he was carrying in his heart all the while and he got better within few hours… 

I suddenly remembered my grandfather and also started recollecting a few stories and some real life experiences he had narrated and shared with us, while I was a kid, we are 8 cousins and all of us love our tata/ajja ( Grandfather in kannada), we have always loved the way he narrated a story,  he would create all the required curiosity , anxiousness, suspicion etc, basically all the required emotions while we listened to him and we would imagine in our own ways of the sequence based on the story, based on his tone, he had and still have an impeccable kannada vocabulary and pronunciation… i.e vyakarna and uccharane ( in kannada).  There were times that we were fine and keen to listen to a story by him, though we knew it by heart… we were desperate to listen to him, from his tone the way he filled the lines with emotions and expressions... and is priceless !

Once so happened that on one of the afternoons, we all cousins started pestering him to narrate a story, that is when he shared one of his experiences - the above story , out of many such experiences he had back when he was a lad!

Sweet are the echoes that start When Memory plays an old tune on the heart!

I always wonder what triggers our brain cells to link up to a memory in the past the reason am saying this is because I have had this experience, well almost every now and then, that whenever I listen to some particular song or my nose catches up some specific or a particular odour, I go back in time to that past where I would have listened to this very particular song crazily like n number of times or really liked the odour(Aroma) of a particular dish or fragrance of a specific deodorant or perfume, or the smell of the woods like the one at my mom's native….

Though I am in present I feel the very warmth and the aura of that place where I had listened to it in the past! or smelled something in that place. This totally transforms me (though temporarily) to what I was then, for example, when I was in PU, Dil Chahta Hai songs were my fav of many and they were played on my tape recorder like almost continuously all day and now when I listen to this song after almost a decade, the moment my ear picks up the track I feel that I am in PU and feel the same old excitement and enjoyment as I had then - the happiness at heart ….

Similarly whenever I listen to Bob Sinclair's "World hold On" and The Corona's Rhythm Of The Night… this was played whole night long, the whole of mid night, in the pin drop silence nights, during summers, while I was studying for Masters back in Bangalore, like 3 years before, When I listen to this song in London now, even on deadly cold days I feel the same warmth I had felt back then, the same hot air, the sweaty hot summer nights, the exam tension at the corner of my heart… I feel so nostalgic about those moments… :)

A similar feeling when I trip down the memory lane, when I get to smell something specific but RARE. This does not happen when the odour is usual or very common.

No sooner I gulp in the fresh air in woods or a country side, I am already elated, I feel that I'm already at my granny's place in Tamil Nadu, back in India i.e at my mom's native and start feeling that I am still a kid playing with my cousins out there! joy o joy! Love them all, I treasure them all :)

I am so much fascinated by the way the brain works, it records something which is considered as a favourite and stores it in a few of its cells and tries to link when ever similar kind of events occur in the future, events in here is listening to the same recorded tracks and smelling the recorded odour!

I should probably go back and do some research and find out more precisely why and how this happens :) Out of sight is definitely not out of mind sometimes :)

How is it going?? ;)

At my office as the internet went down, everyone started chit chatting while waiting for the network to be up and running… This was the only time I saw tech team really speaking and laughing, cracking jokes, speaking about topics off work, if otherwise there were just random jokes or noise once in a while… usually associated with work! I could see the genuine smile on few of my colleagues's faces :) similar to a child's smile when given a let off at school! 

Few them were waiting for the chance to go home calling it end of day's play…while I was witnessing all this, without knowing what to do, I just picked up the notepad and started writing this down, what else could I have done better than this, I had no pdfs nor any documents to read, had already called my parents thrice so I had nothing more left to speak… already had unintentional and un interesting sketches of  few houses and landscapes on the work book that was lying on my desk…

This was and is my first job outside India, first job in London! though its the same IT sector there is a huge difference in the work culture people follow here as compared to Indian work culture, one thing I'd say is that they are truly professionals when it comes to work… some are really strict about their work timings they come at 9 leave at 6 ish  in the evening and they stick to their contract, once asked a lady colleague of mine about this, she said, " Why do you wanna spend your personal time at office, office time is 8 hrs / day, if its over then you should be walking out" I was a little taken a back on hearing this, its 180 degrees to what we do in India or rather what we are asked to do…

And none speaks over the phone for non work purpose more than 2-3 mins and if they see people doing that, they give a stare :) this has happened to me many a times mostly when I call my parents, which I always feel that they are intending to say, "Will you please get back to work" :) :)

They eat their lunch at their desk, no one moves or goes out unless they have a friend or someone to meet or go out for the lunch, they have what not from fish to pork, beef to lamb, salads to bread, my God every damn thing! and there were times where I had almost fainted coz of somebody's stinky fish… I literally walked out of the room, returned after a while (exception:  my lunch(Vegan only)  is generally odourless)

Well one thing I really miss is the regular breaks which I am used to take when I am at work, play TT, relax and replenish my energy and get back to work, but in here its at a stretch of 8hrs, this sometimes is so boring and monotonous and I quickly get saturated but otherwise in terms of work and professionalism I really really appreciate these guys here!

I have learnt a lot from this organization so really looking forward for some more good and interesting stuff!! 

Royal Afternoon

My name is Milly, I was born in a factory, so as my siblings, but my parents were from the rich and a royal family back from England, so I got the privilege of having the family name as Royal… when we were kids me and my sister Molly were very naughty and curious to go out and see how it would look like and play there, but we were kind of restricted to get ourselves accustomed to external world.

Our dynasty or probably I could say it as the species to which I belong had an utmost fear of any water(basically any liquid) and air… we love getting suffocated and chocked up, stacked up etc, unlike you humans, For us Liquid (Any kind) and exposing ourselves to wind/air is fatal, I remember my sister was in the ICU when she had accidentally fallen a prey for water but she slowly recovered, everyone said that the recovery was all a sheer luck and the god's grace.

Whatever we learnt, we understood, everything was within those walls, for us our home was our world, btw we never had walls, coz we were living in a cylindrical pipe, which is considered to be the royal architecture amongst our kind.

well the time came when we really were migrated to some place, I did not know where we as a whole family were going to… but heard all my relatives and cousins telling that we were being shifted to some other place and they over heard of being done so… even they were clueless, all my cousins, my sis and myself were very happy to know about this and devilishly waiting for a chance to get out and have a peek a boo of the outside world, by then we all had realized that there existed something beyond us, which we were really not sure or familiar of...

Finally we did arrive to a place which none of us were aware of, could hear some noise, kind of a rattling sound, elders in our house started praying...My mum screamed at us not to get out of there, as she sat for her prayers, she was really worried, I could see her helplessness, but never understood the reason though!

Meanwhile my sister and I were almost near the main door trying to hear someone speaking about us, something Royal... blah blah blah. We were amazed to hear the voice of someone from this external world but then this was illegible and dampened. Elders also could hear this and they began screaming saying “Tea is Our Liberator, Salvation nearing!!!”, and by the time we realized this, we were pulled out from the house the main door was ruthlessly torn apart, in a split second we both just slided out and had never felt so hard ever before...

“Oh dear now that am here, why am I narrating you guys my story, when I should make the most of this moment outside the boring house, but wait...molly look It is a wonderful world out here... so many things which I had never seen before... I can sense some freshness molly... it is all new”!

Molly : “milly am afraid, will you just shut up, before those monstrous creatures gobble us up”!

“I am in love with this outside world... so many colours, I was just bored with the same set of pale colours... but here I see so many colours I had ever seen in my life, I really don’t know what they are named as...look there is another house similar to ours...I don’t know why mummy hates this place...”

I never realised how different I was until I really got out of those walls and saw the new world all together, my whole perception of the external world changed.

I never realised, how beautiful I was, and how much I was loved, until I really got out there out of my home and heard these huge monstrous creatures praising us, adoring us, so they do have a heart...!

“Look molly they are taking our family name and praising us”...

We realized that, they enjoyed us day or night… I guess everyone liked us! Every one enjoyed us, from kids to aged… well I am a little proud of myself being more beautiful and of course crispier than molly …. who could have really resisted my oomph factor and my dusky skin, and my boldness….

“Aww... wats happening... ooow......molly don’t let me go...Pull me back this monster is so cruel, surely it's gonna eat me away....”

“Mommy...., never let me go...please help me!”

:( Alas! it’s too late I guess, I can sense something bad here, as I see mom hiding inside and weeping... “Milly, Tea is the God's Plan of Salvation!...”

I don’t know wats she saying.... “Ouch!!! Its terribly hot ... don’t dip me in this furnace you stupid monstor”......... Ah! Btw is this the Tea??? OMG!!!

“Am drowning am drowning! Help Help.....my legs are soaked and they are getting dissolved.. stop it... my hands are burning..., Oh my crispiness is lost!!! 
ouch...blobb blobb”....

Wow wasn’t that a nice afternoon tea, with Rich Royal Tea Biscuit!