Happy New Year - 2010

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us...

Wish u All a Very happy n a colorful year ahd! :)

Learn to Say NO!

It was a long time since I had a break from office, so thought why not attend a soft skill program :)

to break the monotony! and i just bottled out and enrolled myself for a training on "Assertive skills".

The program was in South Bangalore, in one of the IBM locations... the training was scheduled from9:00am to 6:00pm (initially one would feel... wat a day to sleep :) but then it was one of the best programs I have attended.

As usual I was late to the session by 20mins.. due to the traffic, choking the roads in Bangalore.

After 3-4 mins I could figure out in which meeting hall the program was happening, Knocked the door, slightly opened it to peep in my facilitator for the day... He immediately sprang up the seat! and said, "welcome young Lady... Good mng", I smiled and wished him back and occupied a seat in the front row... I must say, the facilitator was so charismatic in his voice and Body Language... His style was unmatchable, though he was in his fifties... he had the charm and his tone gave us an assurance that we would not feel bored or go to sleep during the entire stretch! (which made me happy :)

The class began... all of us had a gud time enacting few role plays! I learnt a lot during the

session... there were experiences shared by different ppl out there, one said how his TL harassed him, because he was a fresher he could not say a word back...(poor guy I thought) and the other said, talking back or denying to accept extra loads @ work was a signal of escapism. This reminded me of my experience with my new manager, where she wanted me to work on a weekend! Rather than accepting it straight away.. I said about my commitment for the weekend. It was an intent to show her that in spite of me having my personal stuff, I would come to office... and it was a clear cut signal that, boss u cant take me for granted!

And the discussions went on and forth... with various examples and advantages of being Assertive, be it the personal life/relationships or Professional life/relationships.

There are ppl of three kinds, some - Passive, some - aggressive... Let me tell u something, before saying about ppl who are Assertive.

Ppl can either be Passive or Aggressive by nature, its only either of these two comes by birth. Some are passive because their parents would have passed it on to them and so is the same wid aggressive ppl... But wat makes ppl Assertive is thru Learning! There could be various reasons for a person to be passive, It could be passed on from their parents or could be self developed, due to lack of freedom, lack of confidence, basically ignorant of things, lack of knowledge or it could be even that they foresee some risk in voicing out their opinion! (By voicing out this thought as well, would remove the fear out of u)

Drawback of being Passive: U would loose the battle! U may never be able to do justice to ur values, ur principles, because u always allow others to override... U would start feeling the guilt that u r not getting what u want! U get scared the next time u try to voice out... if u can overcome well n good!

But why do u wann someone else hurt ur beliefs! Ur Aspirations cant be washed out... who would ever like to live dat way!?! Wen u r not allowed to be the way u wanna be!

Drawback of being Aggressive: certainly, if things go beyond threshold even the Passive ones would erupt out and become aggressive... and being aggressive is no good either! U would just end up loosing ur cool and breaking of the relationships! and u would carry that pain forever in hearts! which is not the way we really want our lives to be!

when there are crucial conversations between ppl, stakes are high, emotions run strong! because options vary...People generally choose to at least try to handle this sort of situation as well as they

possibly can. Most times, however, they don't do very well at all, for several reasons.

Physiologically, humans are designed to handle stressful situations with fists and

feet (and the related hormones and physical reactions), not intelligence and

attentiveness. " Most often these sorts of situations come up spontaneously and out

of nowhere, and many people cannot come up with more than a knee-jerk response

to them."

Being aggressive to ppl's reaction on the other side, makes u loose d battle! because u wd not even bother to care for other's feelings, this gives a notion to ur opponent that u dont have consideration, n its very natural for them to deny u! because u have hurt their ego n beliefs... here again there is no win-win situation. U wd rather hurt urself n the other person...

But being Assertive creates a wonderful situation to u, as well for others! u would openly n honestly stand n say "NO" I cant be doing that or I cant be accepting that because it hurts my beliefs, principles and the very me! U dont bash my boundary n I dont invade urs!

Then ppl get the signal from u that they cant be bulling over u! n u get wat u want at the end of the day! Be urself... and dont carry the guilt thru out ur life of not living the life the way u wanted!

This actually creates a win-win situation, where u would not loose anything/anyone but u would win them as well get wat u want! U have the right of freedom! U have the right to make ur own choices in Life and no one..."No One" should be questioning n they should not! but Accept the way U are... U respect other's principles and they respect urs! and wen they cross the guard lines, plz say them... U cant be accepting for all they say!

And the result of this is: U would live a HAPPY n a HEALTHY life! :)

Happy Time ahd!!!

Courage is an absolute requisite, with out which other virtues loose their meaning… Courage is the first of human qualities because it guarantees all others!

We all know (at least most of us!!) what is right and what is wrong! but a few fail to act decisively because they lack the COURAGE their values require. Its as good as being a LOOSER, when we lack courage to do something, (which could have otherwise made us a WINNER) and no one wants to loose… I remember a day when my dad said this to me when I was in standard 2… “When you are right, do not fear for anyone or anything… They cant do anything to U, at the most they could KILL you” … I was shocked to hear the word “KILL” … I asked him, “Dad, If I’m Killed…. What is the use of me being scared or being Courageous!” He then said, “child…Don’t worry, even DEATH will fear to come near Courage!” I would remember it for my life… Nothing or no one can take anything from us! Fear not to do right things… and dont do things which are not right! BE TRUE to yourself…

Cowards die many a times before their death! Just come out of shackles, cross the barrier… remove all the fears from heart! Just DO IT… YOU can…All of us can…what sets courageous people apart from cowards is fortitude. Having the will to go out there and face those difficulties and diffuse them with passion and strength. It needs courage to be a HERO, to be a LEADER - to reach the top and to stay there ( apart from being righteous)!!!

We all face so many difficulties in Life, many hurdles… we all under go a rough time, but never should we shun away… never should we feel defeated… We got to muster all the courage, get up and move on towards success… We are not defeated when we fall down..but its when we refuse to get up.. when we lack courage to accept challenges!

Winners Never Cheat n Cheaters Never Win!

"The Rationale that you have to cheat to stay competitive is a powerful lure. Moral bankruptcy is the inevitable conclusion" - Jon M. Huntsman

"Everyone does it." Everyone cheats. Cuts corners. Tells lies. Maybe it was different once. Not anymore. If you want to succeed nowadays. You have to make compromises. Right?

WRONG. You can succeed at the highest levels, without sacrificing the principles that make life worth living.

What's needed is a booster shot of commonly held moral principles from the playground of our youth. We all know the drill: be fair, don't CHEAT, play nicely, share and share alike, tell the truth. Although these childhood prescriptions may appear to have been forgotten in the fog of competition, I believe it is more a matter of values being expediently ignored. Whatever the case, it is time for us to get into ethical shape with full-scale behavioural workout.

Success comes to those who possess skill, courage, integrity, decency and generosity. Men and women who maintain their universally shared values tend to achieve their goals, know happiness in home and work and find greater purpose in their lives than simply accumulating wealth.

"Nice guys really can and do finish first in Life"

Be Happy!

IF U THINK UR LIFE Z GETTING NECROSED,UR DREAMS INFLAMED,UR THOUTHTS THROMBOSED,THEN TRY THIS OUT.... SPREAD D NEOPLASIA OF LOVE AROUND... :)

BEING IN TWENTIES - SOMETHING... :)

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

This is the "Quarter-life Crisis"...

Attitude is Everything!!!

People always feel low about the way life is treating them, but they forget to think what exactly they have done to their lives. The Attitude they wear is all that matters, its all in the attitude of oneself... the way they look into their lives...
To be successful in life, one has to wear the positive attitude, got to have the positive frame of mind. It really doesnt cost much to make oneself happy and also to make others happy. There is no point in cribbing about the way the things are not happening! there is always a solution for a problem, but we ought to be smarter to find out the solution to get things up and working for us! Trust me its aint tough!!!
Every phase of life has lessons for us. we have to learn from them. We have to make sure that, we make our lives a happier one and a better one to live in. This needs loads of patience, perseverence, passion, determination, self confidance and high energy levels and of course to be ready to fight for what we aspire for.
Seeing things in broader perspective, analysing both the sides of the coin, making smarter moves helps one to climb up the ladder wid out any hassles. saying this, cherish every moment of life, coz each moment is beautiful in its own way , its unique and precious in its own way, be ready to take things as they come. If u wann the life the way u want it to be, then go ahd n make it happen! never back off.. nor be scared... coz u have got it all to make it happen...
Nothing is impossible, impossible is nothing...Just wear the positive attitude and Move on :)